Attention to all of you aspiring Hockey coaches, to all of you Hockey Moms and Dads hoping to raise the next Sidney Crosby, Niklas Lidstrom or Martin Brodeur, and to all of you who play the game, dreaming of one day achieving hockey greatness. The best advice that you will ever receive is to procure yourself a video copy of Saturday’s Canadiens / Maple Leafs game, and use it as a ‘how not to play the game’, manual.

Am I being overly harsh? Consider this.

With both clubs literally battling for their play off lives, Saturday’s match up should have been about two teams reaching deep down inside and producing their best hockey of the season. What ensued was a monumental battle of incompetance littered with blunders. A comedy of errors where it appeared that every player involved, buckled under the game’s immense pressure, and forgot every lesson ever learned about playing the game correctly.

I ask again, too rough? Where to begin.

Let’s start with the Christopher Higgins goal. Should a hockey fan feel disgusted at the ease with which Higgins skated past the cement shoed Pavel Kubina, or should he laugh, as I did at the sight of Tomas Kaberle toboganing past Higgins and into the boards. I suppose a little of both is appropriate.

Toronto did persevere however, and forged ahead on a goal by Captain Mats Sundin. Sure he caught a break since it was clearly a pass across that ricocheted off of the Canadiens’ defenseman and in past beleaguered goaltender Cristobal Huet, but a goal is a goal so with that snipe Sundin ties Maple Leaf great Darryl Sittler for most…what…so the puck was actually deflected in by Nikolai Antropov? So Sundin gets the assist? So your team Captain, your undisputed leader and your most talented player ends the season with 1 goal in 20 games. Hmmmm.

Was I the only one who noticed the Leafs fan sitting with his Andrew Raycroft jersey pulled up covering all but the very top of his head. Whether this fan was overcome by the pressure of the situation and could no longer bare to watch, or was simply nauseated with the circus unfolding on the ice and simply chose not to watch is an argument for another time. The fact of the matter is that this fan unknowingly, provided a delicious slice of irony fore being blindfolded or visually impaired would be the only fitting justification of Raycroft’s performance. Michael Ryder would have no trouble living up to expectations if he were able to face ‘The Razor’ every night.

Lets not forget Steve Begin who, with the 2nd period over and his team up 5-4, mistook Kyle Wellwood’s nose for a puck, slashing him in the face, drawing a double minor and opening the door for a Leafs comeback. Smart.

Toronto did come back to defeat the Canadiens, eliminating Montreal from play off contention, and the following Sunday afternoon, a memorable Islanders win snuffed out the Maple Leafs post season aspirations but the bottom line is that neither team was worthy of competing for Lord Stanley’s Chalice. Hockey in 2007 belongs to clubs that place a premium on skill and speed, guided by General Managers who are capable of acquiring missing pieces via trades or signings and are free of multi million dollar albatroses dragging team pay rolls into the abyss, i.e. McCabe, Bryan; Kovalev, Sergei (I honestly thought that he was a healthy scratch until I saw a shot of him with about 4 minutes left).

So the drought continues for the Maple Leafs while the 14 years since Montreal’s last championship represents the franchise’s longest dry spell. Forever rivals and now it appears, forever futile.

Gotta go, ‘Golden Girls’ is on.